How does it feel to be skinny?

by Danielle
(USA)

How does it feel to be skinny? That's a question I ask myself every now and then. I have tried to lose weight for most of my life. How depressing is it to attempt something time after time and never achieve your goal?

There are times that I admire the anorexic. Is that crazy or what? They must have an amazing amount of mental strength to completely ignore their bodies natural desire and craving for food in order to be skinny. Am I sick to see them as my heroes?

I, on the other hand, have no willpower. I even eat when I'm not hungry. I don't deny myself anything when it comes to food. Pizza, chinese food, cheeseburgers, ice cream, you name it. If my mind or feelings say eat, I eat. Does weight loss surgery change the way you think about food?

It's actually a rare thing for my stomach to growl with hunger. If my body does let me know that it's hungry I'm usually very busy, or I'm too embarassed to eat around other people. I know what they're saying. "Look at that fat pig stuff her face."

What gives people the right to judge me. They feel sorry for the anorexic. They are suffering from a disease and need help. But the obese person is a vile disgusting creature that no one wants to lay eyes on, right? We have no self control, no knowledge of the dangers of obesity, and don't care about our appearance, right?

It's just not that simple. If I could, I would be skinny. I need help, empathy, and encouragement just like the anorexia sufferer does. My head is all messed up too. I don't say this to be a brat or selfish, but I say it because it's true. I have far too much experience on how it feels to be fat. Now I would like to know how does it feel to be skinny?