True Stories of How I Hate Myself and I Want to Die

by Anonymous
(USA)

I hate myself and I want to die. Life is so hard as a "fat girl". Skinny people have no idea.

When I look in the mirror most days I want to throw up. How did I let this happen? When did my back get those rolls on them?

I looked down at my thighs as I was laying in bed and was shocked. They are way past thunder thighs now. It's like they have become a smaller person living on my body, that really isn't small at all.

My fat stomach comes out farther than my fat butt. Pretty soon it will officially cover my "private area". And my arms are really the width of thinner people's thighs.

I remember the days of wearing a plus-size 16 skirt and feeling pretty darn good about myself. Now in a 24 skirt, I feel like a whale.

Maybe weight loss surgery can help me lose weight. But what if something bad happens? Worse yet, what will I do if I can't overeat anymore?

I don't like drinking, smoking is out, and definitely no drugs. So how would I deal with everything that causes me to run to food?

I really feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. Live with obesity, or lose the person I used to be and try to become "someone else" after 30 years.

I don't know if there are any other obese women out there that feel like me. Don't worry, I'm not going to off myself. But this is why I hate myself and I want to die. At least then I wouldn't have to obsess, worry, cry, and eat over it anymore.